EXAM mode

today we had 2 BIG exams, not as big as what will come ahead of us.. but enough to give me back that stressful rush of adrenaline and topsy turvy belly- more than just butterflies flutters.

and i think i need to vent out a little. after a long period of total dead silence of this blog of ours, i want to write again!

i have to admit, it was rather a stressful day. the multiple choice questions were hard enough.. and immediately after, we had our OSCE exams of 10 stations. i don’t intend to go through details of it but enough to make out things i need to reflect.. even so if i do plan to go into the teaching line one day.

i think it is rather demoralising for a professor to say “you didn’t study!” and to put a no-i-can’t-help-u-in any-ways look during the exam. yes, for the very first time, i had that in my face today. huhu.. how could i forget that simple test? aiyoo, i had it in my mind during my rounds before and then today the name just poofed from my mind. maybe i just need a glance of it again, just ONCE.. to make me recall. but alas, i couldn’t recall..

secondly, on the contrary, a professor who responds, even with a simple gesture as a nod after each sentence means a LOT! at least we can know if our answers can be accepted, good enough, dead right or even totally wrong.

lastly, i think the dreadful feeling and disappointment of not being able to do my best this time makes me want to do BETTER and strive harder next time. and one thing i also reflected is that, we have to have husnuzzhan towards Allah. maybe, just maybe.. we feel so bad about a thing, but behind the scenes, something good that we totally unexpected actually happened. after all, He is the one who decides all things. we can do so much, but His plans supersedes.

during my downward hill feelings, my husband said that he can’t imagine, experiencing the same thing we had today, the stress and adrenaline rush EVERY SINGLE day when we have become house officers later on, with the Professors asking and assessing us everyday.

(aah eh. ye tak ye juga..)

have to practice and endure all this from now.

put up a strong heart.

we can still make mistakes now as students,

but as Doctors, it will be unacceptable!

 

as honourable, smart and perfect we should be, we are still  what we are,

humans..

we err like other men.

 

please pray for us in the coming Final Exams that will end our SIX YEARS of medical school life! wow, can’t believe we’ll be graduating.. at last.. :)

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Elective in Dermatology department

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله

Alhamdulillah, our elective course in Dermatology Department is practically OVER!

well, i might sound like i did not enjoy even the least of it.. but not really, i enjoyed myself nevertheless and regardless of the repetitions, i think some time later in life, far into the future.. i’ll be blessed for going through all that.. besides, like one of the famous Egyptian Arabic proverb says:

التكرار يعلم الشطار

“REPETITION TEACHES THE CLEVER”

but i found another proverb that says;

التكرار يعلم الحمار

Repetition teaches (even) a donkey.. what?!?! ;)

today’s class was rather fulfilling for me. i found myself enjoying the topic of Vasculitis! i believe i felt that way because, way back during my rounds in internal medicine department last year (fourth year) i cracked my head into studying Vasculitis for TBL with all those strange terms and i really felt it was way tooo heavy for a fourth year student to study (well, that was what i thought back then)… and today, when the Dr went through the topic, i was excited to come across them all again, having flashbacks of the notes i jotted down..

well, that was not the only thing that i felt interesting today..

we had the chance to see how an ellipse skin biopsy was done. more or less like this.

and to make things more interesting was that the patient was query of Kaposi Sarcoma in a suspected HIV positive patient. my eyes went wide open when i heard the Dr discussing with other Drs wanting to do a list of investigations for the patients including to test him for HIV.

Kaposi sarcoma is a common disease to come in AIDS patient and is related to Human Herpes Virus 8 (HHV-8). it is a malignancy affecting the blood vessels hence the bloody biopsy and  the erythematous to violaceous cutaneous lesions seen having several morphologies.

in AIDS-diseased patient however it is common to find the lesion in the body folds and extending in the upper trunk. like the patient we had, he has erythematous lesions under the armpit (where the biopsy was taken), between the abdominal folds, around the genital area and even around the eyes. the patient was very old, rather cachexic, had previously lost weight and was from Syria.

i pray that the results will be good and that HIV will be ruled out as a differential diagnosis of his condition.. ameen ya Rabb.

interesting case it was. and very rare to encounter i believe.

at the end of this round.. i came to believe that no specialty in medicine is easy. i had the perception that Dermatology is an easy field dealing with simple diseases… rather it is very vast. a single lesion has many differential diagnosis. and one must have a strong knowledge of internal medicine.

quoting some of the Professors and Drs :

“i like dermatology, because you can see the lesion and disease. unlike some diseases like in the internal medicine, you cannot see.”

“i took dermatology because i thought it was simple and when i studied in medical school, the book was small (to indicate that there’s not much to be known). but when you are in the Masters program, the books to be read is that big (showing how much load it was). it’s very huge. with many many differential diagnosis..”

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aaah.. i’m just relieved that my studying course this year is finally coming to an end. a lot have i gone through this year, many experiences… including special events and memories to be cherished all my life.. :)

and now is the time for study leave! the best time of the year to study and at the same time, imagining yourself returning back to your loved ones in Malaysia..

please pray for all of us here.. and may Allah reward you in return way much more..

Allahul Musta’an..

Looking forward to study with my partner- we make a good study group when it comes to Exams~ :) hopefully we make a good study group even during our classes and rounds ;P

next year maybe?? Oh My God, it will be the only year left pun! must strive harder and smarter…

will be moving on to the final year of medical school.. can’t imagine what’s it like to be graduating after 6 years of studying…

-.-

relieved?

or scared?